Prayers to the Moon: Living Fully with Intent

You rarely have time for everything you want in this life, so you have to make choices, and hopefully your choices can come from a deep sense of who you are. -Fred Rogers

My mother-in-law's funeral keeps weighing on my mind. It bothered me that no one wanted to talk about her. The same occurred at my father-in-law's funeral. This cemented my belief that this family has an intense need to avoid death which probably does reflect our culture. I grew up with celebrating an entire person at their death--the good, the bad, the funny. Listening to the minister talk about my mother-in-law and in his defense he only knew her after Alzheimer's had taken her away, I wondered who he was speaking about. When he asked the family to give him words that described her, the list was not surprising to me (I think it might have for him)- "stubborn," (mine which was ignored), "talkative," and"intellectual." After the service, one of my brother-in-laws shared with me "opinionated" and I countered with "immovable." He agreed that once she had an opinion, it never changed. I certainly don't want to be remembered this way.

My mother-in-law also always saved things for later and unfortunately, later never happened. This struck me as I was continuing my spring cleaning efforts. I came across a 7" x 10" black paper journal that my friend Sharon gave me. I had put it aside nearly 10 years ago to use later and probably when I thought I could do something "special" with it. So last night I set myself a challenge to use the journal and limit it to black and white. I had been thinking about one of heARTist Trading Cards group's themes--Prayers to the Moon (one of my suggestions which always brings its own set of expectations- mine not the group's). I have been collecting moon facts for years but never have them all in one place so it became my first entry. It felt wonderful for so many reasons including getting rid of lots of little pieces of paper! And so I renew my vow to live with intent. What are you saving? And what are you saving it for?

Sea of Change

No revolution in outer things is possible without prior revolution in one's inner way of being. Whatever change you aspire to...must be preceded by a change in heart. -I Ching Hexagram 49

I am not accomplishing much today. Trying to keep my distraught granddog happy as we await the arrive of "Fred" (I've been calling him this since my son and daughter-in-law have not settled on a name). I've waited a long time to be a grandma! He certainly is taking his time getting here. Sang has been at the hospital since 11 last night. One of things that I have been doing today is tidying up my office. It's this mindless busy work that often gets my brain engaged.

I have been thinking a great deal lately about patterns- those in my life as well as family and friends. Perhaps we don't have to keep repeating our mistakes until we get them right. Tuli Kupferberg put it so well, "When patterns are broken, new worlds emerge." Perhaps we can recognize our way out of patterns rather then repeat our way out of them. I know I want to be a healthy, happy person so change is needed.

David Campbell said that "discipline is remembering what you want." What do you want that inspires your work? When I think about discipline I realize that discipline can be obtained by punishment, chastising and coercion or by consistent guidance and positive reinforcement. When I was younger, I use to motivate myself by waiting until the last minute before a deadline, deliberately creating stressful crisis energy to get myself going. Now I develop a plan and a time line. I tend to get things done sooner than later. It is a much healthier and gentler approach, but it took time, awareness and effort to make it happen.

Patti Digh also watched patterns and came up with six practices for being mindful and living intentionally. I wrote them in my journal a couple of years ago. Thankfully I found them again today when I was actually searching for something else. Isn't life grand when that happens!  They are now on a post-it note on my computer as a constant reminder:

Intensity: Say yes
Inclusion: Be generous
Integrity: Speak up
Intimacy: Love more
Intuition: Trust yourself
Intention: Slow down

Live fully!

Clean! I Did It!

I took me two days and now I have a deep cleaned, organized studio ready to create and make a mess again! I did really well with keeping it clean last year until the last few months of the year. My grandmother use to warn that whatever you did on the first day of the year you would end up doing most of the year. I'm choosing to look at the last two days as days of intent, follow through, and self-care. I am truly jazzed and can't wait to get started! What did you do with your first day of the year?

This I Believe--Perception

Wow! I never would have thought my post on balance would cause such strong emotions. I am not "telling" anyone what to do. I wouldn't want that job even if it was available. I am simply sharing my thoughts and journey. Personally when something brings up strong emotions in me I try to pause and understand why. For all of you who sent words of appreciation, thank you.

I do stand by my belief that we create our own reality. Our perceptual positions determine how we view things. I cannot think of anyone who has said something better about perception than actress Shelly Winters: "I think on-stage nudity is disgusting, shameful and damaging to all things American. But if I were twenty-two with a great body, it would be artistic, tasteful, patriotic and a progressive religious experience."

I am always saddened when I hear people express the belief that genes, family, education, and environment have predetermined their destiny. They don't believe that change is possible. I think this is what Henry David Thoreau was describing when he said "lives of quiet desperation."

I am a strong believer in conscious intention. I've learned that I have to take chances and let go of things, people and thinking that hold me back. It took a leap of faith to get on an airplane, travel a third of the world away with no idea what would happen next. I am so glad that I felt the fear and did it anyway. It changed my life for the better.  I choose to do things that frighten me and the more I do things the less frightening the experience becomes. I call it "putting stretch marks on my comfort zone." As a matter of fact, if I go too long without doing something that scares me, I force myself even if it is something like finally doing my colonoscopy (thankfully don't have to do that again for another 10 years).

Many people love to talk about something they would like to do or create. They read books, collect supplies, discuss it with friends, admire people who actually do it, but they never actually do it. And that's okay. It's just not me and it's not conscious intention in my book either.

I love to play with intention. Yesterday I decided I was going to find a penny while out running errands. I even told my husband my plan. Before leaving the house, I sat in my car and visualized a penny. I even said out loud, "I am going to find a penny." Of course, I promptly forgot about the penny as I focused on accomplishing my errands. As I was going to my car after my last errand, I remembered my intention and there before me one the ground wasn't a penny but a dime! Now I know some will think and probably tell me that my intention didn't work. Personally, I think the universe is telling me to think bigger and I plan to listen. How's that for an attitude which, of course, is a whole other thing.

Look closely at the present you are constructing: 
it should look like the future you are dreaming.  -Alice Walker