Wednesday, July 24, 2013

"You're Doing It All Wrong"

My husband has been worried because I am not getting out of the house so in an effort to make him happy, I took my black journal to Starbucks. I got my favorite coffee, nonfat vanilla latte, and settled into a corner to work. Before leaving home, I had randomly glued the eyes and dots. I was have a good time when the woman next to me said, "You know you're doing that all wrong." I did not know what to say which I guess looked like an opening to this woman. She had taken a class from a "big name art journaling teacher." When I tried to explain that I felt there was no right or wrong to keeping a journal, her voice got louder. I tried to explain that I am more of the philosophy of Eric Scott and David Modler of Journal Fodder 365. She informed me that she had no idea who these people were, I suggested that she check them out. Then I promptly excused myself and came home. I think the universe is telling me that it's okay to stay home.

I started making quilts in the mid1970s. My first quilt was a baby quilt. I did not have a clue as to what I was doing but that did not stop me. I created simple drawings with fabric crayons and alternated the blocks with solid yellow. My niece (she wasn't my niece when I made it) still sleeps with it (she hates that I share this). She has always called it  "my sunshine quilt" because of the sun in the center. Once I started being around other quiltmakers that the multitude of rules came out and a lot of the joy of creating quilts went away. When I finally decided that "rules" were meant to be broken, I became happier with quiltmaking. So I wonder what in the woman's life made it so important  for her to inject rules into my journaling, try to make me feel bad and not even attempt to listen to my point of view. I wish I could have figured out a way to ask.  How would you have handled this situation?

8 comments:

  1. I don't understand some people. I don't know what I would have done, probably something similar to what you did. Which is too bad that you felt uncomfortable and had to leave. I love your black journaling book by the way. Pretty cool.

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    1. Thanks for loving my black journal. I am having fun! It's not so much that she made me feel uncomfortable, it's that she wouldn't leave me alone.

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  2. What a rude, obnoxious woman she was . . . closed minded, too. I prefer to stay at home, too.

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    1. Thanks! And it's good to know that I am not alone at wanting to stay home. Hugs.

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  3. Journaling is so personal! If she could think there is a "right" or "wrong" way to journal, she must lead a terribly restricted life. Her creativity - if she has any - will remain chained in submission until she lets go of some of the rules.
    How would I have handled her? Probably - once I got over my indignant-how-dare-you self, I would like to think I would have let her talk. "First seek to understand, then to be understood." (Steven Covey - my personal fave of the 7 habits).
    I love my house and love being there. Now that I'm retired I find I must force myself to go out and be among other people. But I also know it's healthy for me as I grow older. Don't despair just because you met one creatively-chained up lady who thinks she has all the answers. There are 99 others who will be fascinated by what you're doing.

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  4. First of all, I think your journal page looks great! That woman had some incredible nerve to approach you and inform you that you were "doing it wrong" Unbelievable!
    I have taken very few classes.....I have no art background at all....that doesn't stop me from loving every moment I get to spend with my supplies. For me, it is about the "discovery". I don't know what you are and are not "suppose" to do...I think rules just limit you......I enjoy playing and being fascinated with the outcome.....very often projects turn out completely different from what I might set out to do....LOVE it when that happens. I learn something new every time :-)

    The woman who approached and shared her view with you, clearly does not know the JOY creating can bring.

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    1. We are of the same mind. Can I come play with you?

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  5. I think she "meant well" ... in the terms of her (closed) universe. She wanted to share something that was a revelation to her, but unfortunately doesn't have the social skill or personal insight to do that in a "helpful" way, a way that allows her to build on her own knowledge. I think you did the right thing by walking away from the situation!

    Did someone say something about "first you learn the rules, then you break them" - oh what fun, how subversive, it is to break those rules...

    I've just found your blog an am enjoying your journey and insights.

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Love comments! Thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts with me.