Friday, March 19, 2010

Still Battling Dragons

This quilt seems to represent my life lately--lots of sadness but with hope for tomorrow. (And it's been quilted! No UFO here.) I've been surprised by comments made to me. One came from a curator who asked me if I have ever had a real job. This said to me in the middle of a class that I was teaching. Could have knocked me over. I teach, lecture and make and sell my art, how is that not a real job? I thought my dad had finally accepted who I was and what I do only to discover that he too doesn't think I "work." Thankfully my immediate family supports me even if they don't "get" what I do most of the time. It's taken me a long time to learn to focus on my needs. I was the oldest of four children with a dad who worked multiple jobs and a mother who went back to school when I was 11. I was taught early that "being selfish" was a sin. If I didn't share or help my mother with my sisters, I was truly wicked. I'll never forget having to babysit my two sisters (my brother who was 11 months younger didn't babysit) on my 12th birthday so my parents could go shopping.  All I wanted to do was hang out with friends but when I complained, I was severely admonished.  Ayn Rand writes in her book The Virtue of Selfishness, "In popular usage, the word 'selfishness' is a synonym of evil; the image it conjures up is a murderous brute who tramples over piles of corpses to achieve his own ends, who cares for no living being and pursues nothing but the gratitude of the mindless whims of any immediate moment. Yet the exact meaning and dictionary definition of the word 'selfishness' is: concern with one's own interests. This concept does not include a moral evaluation." Thank you Ayn!

1 comment:

  1. It took a lot of us YEARS to learn that taking care of ourselves was not being selfish but instead, necessary.


Love comments! Thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts with me.