My Mexican Soul

I have been working! I've had a dream since 2006 to curate an exhibit that is about women and it looks like it will finally happen! I promise to share details the second that I can.

I have the great privilege to instruct a group of amazing women at the National Museum of Mexican Art. They have always told me that I have a Mexican soul so this quilt is dedicated to them. It was so much fun to make and even more fun to embellish. I can't look at this quilt and not smile. 

Still Battling Dragons

This quilt seems to represent my life lately--lots of sadness but with hope for tomorrow. (And it's been quilted! No UFO here.) I've been surprised by comments made to me. One came from a curator who asked me if I have ever had a real job. This said to me in the middle of a class that I was teaching. Could have knocked me over. I teach, lecture and make and sell my art, how is that not a real job? I thought my dad had finally accepted who I was and what I do only to discover that he too doesn't think I "work." Thankfully my immediate family supports me even if they don't "get" what I do most of the time. It's taken me a long time to learn to focus on my needs. I was the oldest of four children with a dad who worked multiple jobs and a mother who went back to school when I was 11. I was taught early that "being selfish" was a sin. If I didn't share or help my mother with my sisters, I was truly wicked. I'll never forget having to babysit my two sisters (my brother who was 11 months younger didn't babysit) on my 12th birthday so my parents could go shopping.  All I wanted to do was hang out with friends but when I complained, I was severely admonished.  Ayn Rand writes in her book The Virtue of Selfishness, "In popular usage, the word 'selfishness' is a synonym of evil; the image it conjures up is a murderous brute who tramples over piles of corpses to achieve his own ends, who cares for no living being and pursues nothing but the gratitude of the mindless whims of any immediate moment. Yet the exact meaning and dictionary definition of the word 'selfishness' is: concern with one's own interests. This concept does not include a moral evaluation." Thank you Ayn!

Wrestling with Dragons

"Life beats down and crushes the soul and art reminds you that you have one," by Stella Adler. It was good this quote came to me when it did because it was a gentle, much needed reminder. It's been a long time since a quilt of mine has evoked such strong feelings and criticism from people. It was so unexpected too because I was so excited about this quilt and the direction that I was going. While I have pretty much beaten (and sometimes, like now, still battle) the dragon of the Fear of Criticism, some of the remarks have been more hurtful than helpful. In the past, this might have caused me to shut down for a while, instead I'm busy creating. It feels good. I've worked hard to be at this place in my life.

In third grade, the teacher required us to share what we wanted to be when we grew up. I remember how excited I was to share my dream. When it came to my turn, I joyfully announced that I actually wanted to do two things and I thought they worked well together. I wanted to be an artist and the person that got to decide the names for the colors of paint. Mrs. Sanders did not share my passion and informed me that the class already had an artist. His name was Guy and in all honestly, he was quite good. Further I had no artistic talent. She didn't even grace my desire to be the namer of paint colors. She told me that I was much more suited to be a mother or a secretary. I don't remember much of the rest of the day. I went to bed early which wasn't my nature and waited patiently for everyone to go to sleep (I shared a room with my two younger sisters) and then I cried. I cried until I could not cry anymore. I kept my desire to be an artist a secret until high school. I wish I could tell you that my dream was embraced but it wasn't. It has made me realize how much admonishments and criticisms can rob us of the courage to be original and take risks with our ideas. I work hard when I teach to make sure I create a safe place full of encouragement and positive energy.

Anyway, I have added more to the quilt and have decided to "stick a fork in it and call it done." Now it's time to quilt it and move on. I remain happy with the quilt.

Block for Beth

When I lived in Houston, Texas, I started a group called Kindred Spirits. Eighteen of us met every Wednesday at my house. We started in April so the group will be 12 years old soon and going strong. We got "funky" to help us loosen up and be creative. We made funky chickens (more than I care to admit), tea pots, chairs, hats, hearts, etc. Beth joined the group after I left but I knew her from the guild. She has a wonderful mother and a relationship with her mother that I envy. Her mom's health is not good so Beth has been spending lots of time with her. It has been stressful so Kindred Spirits decided to make her a quilt. The requirements were the background had to read black, you had to include your hand and a heart. I chose to do my left hand because it is the one closest to my heart. I hope it brings her joy and reminds her how much I care. It feels good to do a group project again and to feel a small part of the group again. Thanks Marti!

Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around. --Leo Buscaglia

Begin Again

The last few days I've attempted to create a piece of fabric that expresses who I am for a new quilt I want to make. I've failed. While endings don't always feel so pleasant, starting down a new path does. There is great hope in "begin again" instead of "I failed."

ATCs for Art from a Heart

I belong to the Ning group started by Gary Reef called Art from the Heart. I've never participated in any of the challenges or groups so when the call went out to do ATCs (artist trading cards--2.5 inches by 3.5 inches), I decided I would do it. Art from the Heart is made up of artists and I only know of a few who work with fiber. In part, I guess this is part of the reason I haven't participated but mostly because I'm busy doing my own thing. However, I do love making ATCs, needed to feel a connection to others and these particular cards happened because I continue to clean out. Yep, I'm still making my way through everything I own. Feels good! The other day I was going through old files and I came across a pen and ink drawing I had done more than 30 years ago.  The paper was stained, folded and at first I thought unusable until I scanned it and worked Photo Shop's magic on it. I printed the drawing on paper that had old writing on postcards then I played with my watercolor pencils. I'm really pleased and hope that those who get one will also be happy. Monday I'll mail them off to England. Just having too much fun.

"A Memory with No History"

My friend Michelle Flamer is curating an exhibit called "The President's House: Their Untold Stories in Quilts." Michelle asked me to make a quilt so this is what I have been doing the last three weeks. (if you're interested in participating, let me know.) The exhibit will deal with the irony that those who sought freedom in a new nation denied it to others. My quilt is based on Oney "Ona" Judge Staines who was Martha Washington's seamstress. Ona ran away to New Hampshire and the Washington's pursued her. I have the original ad that was placed looking for her. George offered $10 for her return. Don't you just love the Internet! The 1793 has to do with the bill that Washington signed into law that kept runaway slaves fugitives. Ona died a fugitive at the age of 75 in 1848. I'm not quite sure if I'm ready to call it done. Thoughts?

Quilt for Christine

I try to practice gratitude whenever and however I can. After the quilt group at the National Museum of Mexican Art seemed to come to an end, a stranger came forward and donated money so we could meet and create again. I get tears in my eyes every time I think about this unexpected kindness. Anyway when I suggested to the group that we make our angel a quilt, everyone jumped at the chance to contribute. For many it was there first time creating something in fabric. So our hearts will now be residing in England where we hope it will provide Christine a reminder to how much her kindness meant to us.

Yvonne Porcella

Yvonne Porcella has ovarian cancer. Yvonne and I created three quilts together for the Alliance for American Quilts so when the call went out for people to contribute blocks for a quilt, I knew I had to answer the call. We were asked to create blocks that were in Yvonne's style. I tried to take elements from some of the quilts we did together and add a little something from the AAQ too. It's a 10 inch block. I hope it cheers her and makes her recovery easier. Thanks to Jamie Fingal and Leslie Tucker Jenison for organizing this effort and putting the quilt together. I will continue to send loving and healing thoughts to Yvonne and I hope you'll join me.

Fire!

The Postmark'd Art group selected fire as the element for this exchange and I jumped at the chance to participate.  It was a lot of fun except that I now have the Johnny Cash song "Ring of Fire" stuck in my head. The piece is 12 inches by 12 inches and it will be cut into six (4" x 6") postcards. I'll mail off 5 and keep one for myself. When the exchange is over I will have 6 examples of how to create fire. How cool is that! I used raw edge applique for the flames and needle felting to create some smoke. I also used my Derwent Inktense watersoluble ink pencils to add color to the tips of the yellow fabric that I used. I love this group and couldn't image not having the exchange. I can't believe we're on our 10th round!

The Earth Moved

We had a blizzard with close to 10 inches of snow and an 4.3 earthquake on the same day. What excitement are you having in your part of the world? Sorry to have gone MIA. I'm trying to work instead of spending time on the computer. The disconnect has been wonderful. The muse is speaking to me and I am listening.

I'm working on my Presidential House quilt. More on that later. I did get the wall together. Here is a part so that you can see the results of my rock shibori dyeing. I love the texture that the string caused. However, I don't think I had it tight enough. Also the smaller rocks caused too much to be covered which caused large areas not to dye. I had thought this might happen. I had extra squares just in case. It was interesting that while the pieces were all cut about the same size, they did not end up that way. I also dyed some of the pieces without rocks. Live and learn. This was fun and I will give it another try. However, this piece will have to wait until the quilt that I am working on is completed. I feel so much of my explorations and thoughts lately are all coming together. I want to embrace this period of flow because I know it will not go on forever.

Rock Bundles

I decided to put my rocks to use. I dyed white felt with two different colors of dye. The pink was squirted over the tan. I cut the felt into about 4 inch squares, wrapped the felt around the rock then tied the bundle. Next I will over dye with brown. This is all in preparation for my wall quilt that has been noodling around in my head. The walls in Georgia are so amazing and Georgia never seems to be far from my mind. This will also give me another opportunity to play with texture.

Here Comes the Sun

This is my first attempt at needle felting and I like it! Don't think I'll felt every thing in sight but I will use it if the technique can create the effect I want. I hand appliqued the sun so now I need to think about how I want to quilt it. Overall I'm happy.

Memorable Days

Today I worked, shoveled while marveling at the winter wonderland surrounding me, and voted. Voting made me think of the first time I voted. I was so nervous and excited. I remembered voting in New Jersey when my first born was less than two months old and the silly debate that occurred about whether or not I could take him into the booth with me. I do remember the sound the curtains made when I closed them. I miss curtains. I hate the tacky cardboard booths of today. Anyway, I was thinking, 'What makes a day memorable?' I'm terrible about dates. I do remember moments like voting, my first heartbreak, birth of my children, etc.

Today is not a good day for my friend Stephen. Today was the memorial service for Stephen's 18 year old brother who died in his dorm room. Cause has yet to be determined. I grieve particularly for his mother because I am one. Parents are not suppose to outlive their children.A day I would not wish for anyone.

I find I am content with calm and quiet days working. No more need for drama here.  I count my blessing every evening before going to sleep. Something that I have done for more than 30 years. I love my inexhaustible fountain of ideas.  I am never bored. Even my cleaning has unearthed lost treasures that are now being used. Life is good even while I hunger for spring, contemplate the meaning of days and send warm and loving thoughts to my friend Stephen and his family.

The Muse Whispered

I have agreed to make a couple of quilts for traveling exhibitions. I have ideas but my muse is keeping the details to herself so I've been struggling. What to do? What to do? I can tell you that if you were one of my students, I would be able to walk you through this. Isn't it interesting what we can do for others? Anyway, I set aside the quilts that I have to make and did some deep breathing when suddenly I had an idea. It actually has the image  I was considering for one of the have to make quilts so I decided to make a 12-inch quilt. Here's my beginning. The background fabric is actually the back of a over-dyed fabric I purchased when I lived in Texas. It began life as a black and white poke-a-dot.  It's hand appliqued and hand embroidered. I'm happy! I'm hoping the flow of this piece will help me over come my struggle with the other quilts.

Before There was Writing

I have collected rocks most of my life. I can't explain it, they just speak to me. A couple of days ago I watched the Japanese movie Departures which is about Daigo, a cellist. Daigo's symphony shuts down so he is forced to return to the village where he was born. A typo in a want ad leads him to becoming an a.nakanshi or one who prepares the dead for burial. I know this all sounds depressing. In many ways, it is. However, it's a wonderful and moving movie. At one point, he takes his wife to the beach where he finds a small rock which he gives to her telling this story. Before there was writing, people would look for a rock that shows how they feel and present to a loved one. A smooth rock could show that the person is happy. I won't spoil the movie by sharing more. I did love the idea and the story. I wonder what my rocks say about me.

Stitching and Thinking

Thanks to everyone who wrote to ask me about my garden quilt. You  certainly make me feel supported, help keep me honest and on my creative path, and feeling less isolated (I'm such a homebody.). As you can see by the photo, I have been working. Yesterday was a little frustrating as I kept breaking needles (three in all). I find that all the stitching does cause me to think. I keep revisiting my encounter with my neighbor. What do I not see? And not just visually, what do I miss seeing about myself? I've had a couple of epiphanies lately (one quite painful) and I think this quilt has played a part. I have always found hand stitching to be a form of informative silent meditation so I remain thankful.

I also find it interesting that people keep asking me what my plans are for this piece, and how surprised they are when I tell them that I haven't a clue. It's the journey that I am enjoying. I'm not even sure how it is going to look in the end and to be honest, I like it that way.


On the cleaning front, yesterday I cleaned and reorganized my kitchen pantry. I bought Oxo air tight containers so hopefully I will never have another moth problem. This project made me gleeful.  I'm such a strongly visual person. The order and uniformity appeal to me.  My husband finds it humorous. It is definitely his influence that I now embrace order and uniformity. Probably not as much as he would like (he's a chemical engineer) but then again, he did marry me.

Observing

I woke to a world encased in a thin layer of ice. I found myself constantly looking out the window at the trees and the way the sun was playing with the ice. Outside I ran into a neighbor walking her dog so I asked if she was enjoy our winter wonderland and pointed to the trees. I was dumbfounded when she confessed that she hadn't noticed. Her goal was to walk the dog as quickly as possible and off she went. For a moment, I was sad. Joy is so much better shared. 


Creative Everyday 2010 has been talking about shadows which did influence my decision to put myself dancing in my garden. Couldn't help giving myself funky socks. By the way, I hand pieced the flying geese and over dyed them to get the green I wanted. It was one of those "nothing ventured, nothing gained" moments that paid off.

Honoring Spoon River

One of the favorite pieces of art in my garden is "Spoon River" so even though my bent spoons are covered with snow, I had to include them. The green fabric is linen. I do love linen. I hand appliqued the spoon. Working on this quilt has actually gotten me quite energized and helping me find a wonderful peace of mind. I'm also already planning my next quilt. If you would like to see a photo of Spoon River, just go to the posts marked "Garden Quilt." It was posted last year on May 9th.

Thoughts on Winter, Slow Cloth, Garden Quilt

I struggle to not feel the downward pull of the short, gray winter days in Chicago. I had hoped this year would be different. Unfortunately, it hasn't. However, I am working which always gives me hope.

I have admired the Slow Cloth movement for some time. The idea of reusing textiles, layering, handwork, hand stitching and stories has always appealed to me. There was a time when I only hand pieced and hand quilted. For a while now I have moved toward handwork. On Tuesday, I posted a Quilters' S.O.S. - Save Our Stories interview with Jude Hill. I admired Jude and her work and her interview is a great addition to the project. I hadn't intended to make a Slow Cloth quilt for my garden piece but her interview got me thinking. I'm going to give it a try and hope this honors the movement. The background is a piece of denim (approx. 17" x 18") from a friend's skirt that she cut up and the light blue fabric is a napkin my friend Elizabeth Cherry Own. She had used part of it and it reminds me of all the grasses I have in my garden. I'm also hoping that this will help me keep away the winter blues.